5 Common Problems in African Marriages — and How to Overcome Them

Marriage is a sacred covenant, yet in many African societies today, this covenant faces unique pressures — from cultural traditions to modern shifts in lifestyle and values. Many couples find themselves struggling not because they lack love, but because they have not been equipped to navigate these challenges with godly wisdom and understanding.

Here are five common problems in African marriages, and how they can be overcome through both biblical and psychological principles.

1. Cultural and Gender Role Conflicts

In many African homes, traditional gender roles are deeply rooted — men are expected to lead and provide, while women care for the home and children. However, modernization, education, and migration have blurred these roles. When expectations clash, it often leads to power struggles and emotional disconnection.

Some men feel threatened by successful wives, while some women feel suppressed under rigid cultural expectations.

Biblical Insight:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” — Ephesians 5:21

Psychological View:

Healthy marriages require adaptability and emotional intelligence. Both spouses must recognize that leadership and submission in marriage are not about dominance but partnership. Mutual respect and communication strengthen the home more than cultural hierarchy ever can.

2. Poor Communication

Many African couples struggle with open communication. Cultural norms often discourage vulnerability — especially for men, who are taught to “be strong” and hide emotions. As a result, issues are swept under the rug until resentment builds.

Biblical Insight:

“Let your conversation be always full of grace.” — Colossians 4:6

Psychological View:

Communication is not just about speaking, but understanding. Active listening, expressing emotions respectfully, and regular check-ins help prevent emotional distance. Silence and pride destroy intimacy; humility and openness rebuild it.

3. Extended Family Interference

In African culture, marriage is seen as a union between families, not just individuals. While this creates strong communal bonds, it can also cause friction when in-laws overstep boundaries or influence decisions within the marriage.

Biblical Insight:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” — Genesis 2:24

Psychological View:

Couples must establish clear boundaries early in marriage. A healthy couple honors their parents but prioritizes their own unity. Consistent communication and united decision-making protect the marriage from external pressures.

4. Financial Pressures and Poverty

The weight of financial expectations — from bride price, supporting extended family, to societal standards of success — can break even strong relationships. Men who lose jobs may feel inadequate; women may feel unappreciated or overburdened.

Biblical Insight:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:19

Psychological View:

Financial stress often triggers insecurity and conflict. Couples must learn transparency, joint budgeting, and teamwork in facing economic challenges. Money should be a tool, not a weapon. Trust in God’s provision and wise stewardship restore peace.

5. Lack of Spiritual Foundation

Many marriages start with love but lack a spiritual backbone. Prayer, forgiveness, and shared faith are often neglected. Without God, couples rely on their own strength — and when storms come, the foundation shakes.

Biblical Insight:

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” — Psalm 127:1

Psychological View:

Research shows that shared spiritual practices (like praying together or attending church) strengthen emotional intimacy and reduce conflict. Couples who invite God into their marriage experience deeper connection and resilience through trials.

African marriages are rich with beauty, culture, and strength — but they must evolve without losing their biblical roots. Culture should never replace God’s Word. True transformation begins when couples choose humility, accountability, and spiritual growth.

At Come Broken, we believe that healing and restoration are possible for every marriage — no matter how broken it seems. When Christ becomes the center, love is renewed, and purpose is restored.