Dating with Purpose : How Singles & Divorcees can Prepare for a Godly Marriage

At Come Broken, we know that both singles and divorcees carry unique stories—of hope, longing, fear, and faith. Whether you’ve never married or have stepped through the valley of divorce, God meets us in our brokenness, inviting us forward. As the Scripture reminds us:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

– Matthew 11:28

Today, we explore how those who are single or divorced can prepare intentionally and faithfully for a purposeful, God-honouring marriage.

The Landscape for Singles in a Modern Era

In this fast-paced world, being single can feel isolating and increasingly pressured:

• Limited opportunities to meet like-minded people—many singles feel discouraged when dating pools feel small or superficial.

• Cultural stigma or assumptions—especially for older singles, the absence of marriage can be burdened with misguided judgment.

• Dating fatigue and confusion—swiping culture and mismatched expectations can easily lead to exhaustion and discouragement.

Yet in that place of waiting and longing, God is at work. In Isaiah, He promises:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed… I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

– Isaiah 41:10

What singles can do:

• Ground your identity in Christ, not status. You are beloved, not because of your relationship, but because of Him.

• Engage spiritually and communally. At Come Broken, our Love & Dating Retreats offer thoughtful biblical teaching, connection, and guidance richly rooted in God’s Word .

• Build emotional and relational maturity. Seek mentorship, discipleship, and honest conversation with other singles. Examine what true godly partnership means—not just for fun, but for lifelong faithfulness.

The Reality for Divorcees: Healing and Readiness

Divorce carries deep emotional wounds—feelings of failure, grief, distrust—but it also carries lessons of resilience, wisdom, and hope.

Common challenges divorced individuals often face:

• Lingering pain or unresolved emotions, making it hard to trust again. Experts advise forgiveness and processing that pain so it doesn’t cast shadows on your future.—“Let go of the past… forgive yourself… forgive your ex-partner,” as shared by a psychotherapist .

• Re-entering a changed dating culture, where starting again can feel alien or overwhelming .

• Navigating others’ expectations or misconceptions. Some singles may fear emotional baggage—but grace calls us to see beyond surface labels .

Steps toward purposeful preparation:

• Give yourself space to heal. Don't rush. Hold to the truth: “The only way to move forward… is to let go”—but that begins with healing, not ignoring .

• Rebuild with self-awareness. Reflect on what worked and what hurt in the previous marriage; identify your values and non-negotiables, and approach relationships with maturity .

  • A Reddit user shared:

"Take things slow… make sure you're making healthy decisions… try not to repeat the same behaviors." 

• Lean into community and support. Counseling, prayer groups for divorcees (like DivorceCare-style ministries), and trusted friendships are lifelines .

Biblical Anchors for the Journey

God offers profound hope for those preparing for marriage—whether for the first, second, or renewed time:

• Forgiveness and renewal: “I will give them a new heart… a spirit of flesh.” (Ezekiel 11:19)—a picture of God softening and restoring hearts .

• Grace over perfection: “Come to me… I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)—a reminder that no one comes perfect, but all are welcome.

• Unity and growth: “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up the other.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)—marriage is about mutual support and resilience.

• A heart ready for others: “We have the ministry of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)—our relationships reflect God’s redemptive work in us .

Practical Guide: Preparing for Purposeful Marriage

Key Step What It Looks Like Self-healing Therapy, prayer, and community support for emotional wounds. Values clarity Reflect on core beliefs: what matters in communication, finances, faith, and intimacy. Spiritual grounding Consistent Word study, prayer, and alignment with God’s vision for marriage. Healthy community Join singles or divorced peers in faith-based groups, retreats, or support a ministry like Come Broken offers . Wise dating Look for compatibility in faith, maturity, and emotional health. Set boundaries and guard your heart. Grace-filled patience Trust God’s timing; move at the pace of healing, not societal or personal pressure.

From Brokenness to Covenant

Your story—whether shaped by singleness or divorce—is not over. At Come Broken, we believe God can redeem your past, renew your future, and prepare you for a covenant marriage marked by grace, wisdom, and purpose.

If you're single, lean into God's calling and community. If you're divorced, let healing, forgiveness, and self-discovery lead you into a healthier readiness for marriage. And always remember: you’re not alone, your brokenness is not your end, and there is joy ahead in covenant relationships centered on Christ.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.”

– Proverbs 18:22

Come broken—in trust, in hope, in journeying toward God’s best for your life.

Join us on the 14th of September 2025 as we begin a new Season of "Single & Searching" - on our You tube channel https://youtube.com/@comebroken?si=ZJZb2FWiQoPMm6Lfwhere we deep dive on the real challenges Singles and Divorcees are facing in finding real love and how to overcome this.

For private counselling and help please email us directly on willandefe@comebroken.co.uk