Mistakes Women Make in Dating That May Hinder Marriage – And How to Overcome Them

Dating in 2025 is not what it was 20 years ago. Technology, cultural shifts, gender roles, and economic pressures have reshaped how men and women relate. For Christian women, the journey to marriage can feel like a constant tension between faith, psychology, and modern reality.

At Come Broken, we believe that God’s Word is timeless, but we also recognise the need to understand today’s challenges—both practical and emotional. Below we highlight some common mistakes women make when dating that can unintentionally make them less appealing for marriage, and how to correct them with wisdom, grace, and balance.

1. Rushing the Process Out of Pressure

The Challenge:

In 2025, the pressure of “biological clocks,” social media comparisons, and cultural expectations can push women to rush relationships. Psychologically, this creates anxiety and attachment insecurity—making relationships feel forced.

The Biblical Truth:

Scripture reminds us that “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). God’s timing is never late.

The Correction:

• Focus on building emotional stability rather than chasing timelines.

• Trust God’s process and avoid ultimatums.

• Allow relationships to develop organically through prayer, friendship, and discernment.

2. Compromising Core Values for Temporary Companionship

The Challenge:

The digital age makes loneliness more intense—constant scrolling shows “happy couples” everywhere. Some women lower their standards, compromise purity, or tolerate disrespect just to avoid being single.

The Psychological Impact:

Settling breeds resentment, regret, and self-esteem struggles. It often leads to short-term satisfaction but long-term pain.

The Biblical Truth:

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). God calls His daughters to stand firm in faith and values.

The Correction:

• Practice contentment in singleness.

• Set clear boundaries around respect, purity, and shared values.

• Learn to walk away from relationships that drain rather than build.

3. Trying to “Fix” or “Save” a Man

The Challenge:

In 2025, many women feel pressure to “build a man” into his potential—especially when economic or emotional struggles are involved. While support is good, becoming a saviour leads to exhaustion and disappointment.

The Psychological Impact:

This often comes from a “rescuer mindset” tied to codependency or fear of abandonment.

The Biblical Truth:

It is only God who transforms hearts (Ezekiel 36:26). You are called to love, not to carry the weight of being his saviour.

The Correction:

• Encourage and pray for him, but don’t shoulder his growth.

• Look for a partner who is already walking in responsibility and faith.

• Invest in your healing—so you’re not drawn to brokenness to feel “needed.”

4. Being Overly Picky or Judgmental

The Challenge:

Dating apps and endless options have created a “shopping culture” for love. Many women set unrealistic checklists: career, income, looks, lifestyle—all perfectly aligned.

The Psychological Impact:

Unrealistic standards create anxiety, indecision, and missed opportunities with genuinely good men.

The Biblical Truth:

“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

The Correction:

• Differentiate between non-negotiables (faith, character, respect) and preferences (height, salary, hobbies).

• Value integrity, kindness, and shared purpose over worldly standards.

• Seek wise counsel and accountability when making relationship decisions.

  
  

5. Over-Spiritualizing and Waiting for “Signs”

The Challenge:

Some women avoid taking action, waiting for God to drop a husband at their doorstep. In modern times, passivity can keep women invisible—especially when men are navigating busyness, online culture, and career demands.

The Psychological Impact:

This can come from fear of rejection or perfectionism masked as “waiting on God.”

The Biblical Truth:

Faith requires both prayer and action. Ruth did not just wait—she positioned herself wisely (Ruth 3).

The Correction:

• Be prayerful, but also intentional—join fellowship groups, attend church events, and be open to community.

• Take small, bold steps to meet new people without fear.

• Remember: God directs steps, but you must be moving.

  
  

6. Ignoring Mental Health and Personal Growth

The Challenge:

In 2025, stress, trauma, and mental health struggles are widespread. Some women pour everything into dating without addressing their own healing—leading to repeated patterns of unhealthy choices.

The Psychological Impact:

Unhealed wounds attract dysfunctional relationships. Anxiety, insecurity, or unprocessed pain can make dating difficult for both partners.

The Biblical Truth:

“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers” (3 John 1:2).

The Correction:

• Prioritise healing: counselling, prayer, journaling, therapy if needed.

• Work on self-awareness, communication, and emotional maturity.

• Bring your brokenness to Christ—He makes all things new.

Dear sister, the goal is not perfection but alignment with God’s design. In this modern world of distractions, expectations, and pressure, the greatest gift you can offer in dating is a whole, healed, Christ-centered you.

Marriage is not about chasing timelines, image, or worldly approval—it’s about creating a covenant that glorifies God.

At Come Broken, we remind you: bring your struggles, mistakes, and hopes to the feet of Jesus. Allow Him to heal, guide, and prepare you for a love story that reflects His grace.

To get our FREE E Book - Dating for Marriage email us on willandefe@comebroken.co.uk

What mistake do you think women (or men) most commonly make in dating today, and how can faith change that perspective? Share in the comments—we’d love to hear your thoughts.