The Purpose of Storms in Your Life: To Reveal What’s Solid and Wash Away What Isn’t

My wife and I have faced and endured a multitude of storms in our kife and marriage. Storms are among the most frightening experiences we face—unexpected trials, emotional earthquakes, financial strain, betrayal, illness, or the sudden shaking of foundations we once believed were secure. Yet in both psychology and Scripture, storms are never without purpose. They arrive not just to disrupt but to reveal, to refine, and to redirect. Storms expose what is truly anchored and wash away what is weak, shallow, or built on sand. In life and especially in marriage, storms are often the very tools God uses to uncover truth, deepen intimacy, and strengthen character.

1. Storms Reveal the True Foundation of Your Life

In Matthew 7:24–27, Jesus paints a vivid picture of two houses—one built on rock, the other on sand. Both houses look stable until the storm comes. The storm does not discriminate; it simply reveals what was already there. The same is true in our lives:

Stress exposes coping mechanisms.

Psychology shows that under pressure, our default patterns—healthy or unhealthy—rise to the surface. You see your true triggers, emotional limits, beliefs, and strengths.

Crisis reveals character.

In difficult moments, hidden insecurities, unresolved trauma, fear, or pride become visible. Similarly, resilience, faith, patience, and inner strength also shine through.

Biblically, storms are not sent to destroy you but to uncover what needs rebuilding. God often uses storms as diagnostic tools, not weapons.

2. Storms in Marriage: Exposing Broken Patterns and Strengthening the Bond

Every marriage will face storms—financial strain, misunderstandings, unmet expectations, external pressures, family conflicts, emotional disconnection, or personal weaknesses.

Storms expose what is unhealthy

Poor communication habits become noticeable when tension rises.

Hidden resentments surface during prolonged conflict or stress.

Emotional wounds from childhood or past relationships emerge when triggered.

Selfishness, pride, avoidance, or impatience reveal themselves under pressure.

Just like a cracked wall becomes visible when rain hits it, storms highlight where healing and repair are needed.

Storms also reveal what is solid

A couple’s commitment is seen when they choose to stay anchored despite conflict.

A spouse’s character shines through when they choose empathy over ego.

Forgiveness, humility, and teamwork emerge as stabilizing strengths.

Proverbs 24:10 says, “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.”

Storms show the true strength of the relationship—not to shame the couple, but to help them identify what must be rebuilt on the Rock.

3. Storms Wash Away What Is Not Meant to Remain

There are things you only lose when storms hit—and later you realize those things needed to go.

Psychological perspective

Difficult seasons wash away:

Unrealistic expectations

Codependency

Idealized fantasies of marriage

Negative thinking patterns

Toxic habits or friendships

Emotional immaturity

Storms disrupt comfort zones so that growth can begin. Research shows that experiences of adversity often lead to post-traumatic growth, where resilience, identity, and relational bonds become stronger.

Biblical perspective

John 15 shows that God prunes branches—not to hurt, but to make fruitful.

Psalm 66:10–12 shows that God uses “fire and water” to refine His people before bringing them into abundance.

Storms are sometimes God’s way of cleansing your life from things that quietly weakened you.

4. Storms Refine Your Faith, Vision, and Priorities

Storms force you to ask deeper questions:

What truly matters?

What am I leaning on that is unstable?

Who am I becoming through this?

What is God trying to teach me?

In marriage, storms refine:

Communication

Emotional intelligence

Trust

Unity

Patience

Empathy

Prayer life

Couples who endure storms together often experience deeper connection afterwards because the storm removed what was superficial and strengthened what was essential.

James 1:2–4 teaches that trials mature us, making us “complete, lacking nothing.”

5. How to Stand Strong Through Your Storms

1. Anchor Yourself in God’s Word

The Word provides stability when emotions shake. Scripture becomes the “rock” beneath your feet.

2. Build Emotional Awareness

Psychology emphasizes self-awareness as the foundation of resilience. Learn to recognize your triggers, patterns, and reactions.

3. Communicate Through the Storm

Silence and avoidance worsen storms. Gentleness, honesty, and vulnerability strengthen unity.

4. Seek Support

Wise counsel, therapy, pastoral guidance, or trusted friends can hold your arms up when the wind is too strong.

5. Pray Together as a Couple

Storms bring couples closer when they bring their burdens to God together.

6. Let the Storm Do Its Work

Some storms are not meant to be fought—they’re meant to be learned from. Let God wash away what needs to leave.

The Storm Is Not Your Enemy—It’s Your Instructor

Every storm in your life has a purpose.

Every shaking is a revelation.

Every loss may be protection.

Every disruption may be pruning.

In life and in marriage, storms expose what is weak so you can rebuild with wisdom, and they wash away what is not from God so that what truly matters can stand firm. When viewed through the lens of Scripture and psychology, storms are not the end—they are the beginning of clarity, strength, and transformation.

The storm is not meant to destroy you.

It is meant to reveal, refine, and rebuild you.

Will & Efe Chaniwa

Co Founders - Come Broken

Rooted in Christ Ministries