Things to Be Aware of Before You Get Married to a Single Parent

Marriage is a sacred covenant, and when it involves a single parent, it carries unique blessings—and unique responsibilities. Loving someone who already has children requires emotional maturity, spiritual grounding, and psychological awareness. While love may draw you together, wisdom and understanding will sustain the relationship.

1. You Are Not Just Marrying the Person — You’re Marrying Into a Family

When you marry a single parent, you are not only committing to your spouse but also to their children. You are stepping into an already existing family structure with its own emotional bonds, routines, and history. This dynamic can shift the focus of the relationship from just romance to shared responsibility.

Children may initially struggle to accept a new parental figure. They could feel loyalty conflicts toward their biological parent, or fear that your presence threatens their relationship with their mother or father. As such, you must enter the relationship with patience and emotional intelligence.

Biblical Reference:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4

Patience and kindness are essential as trust is built slowly, especially with children.

2. Emotional Baggage and Healing From the Past

Single parents often carry emotional scars from previous relationships—whether from divorce, abandonment, or loss. These experiences can shape how they trust, communicate, and connect in a new relationship. It’s vital to ensure both parties have healed before entering marriage.

You may find moments where past wounds are projected into your new union—fears of betrayal, abandonment, or inadequacy. If healing hasn’t taken place, these fears can create tension.

Psychological Insight:

Emotional trauma from previous relationships can lead to hypervigilance—an increased sensitivity to potential conflict or rejection. This may cause overreactions to small issues. Recognizing these triggers early and approaching them with empathy helps prevent unnecessary strain.

Biblical Reference:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” – Isaiah 43:18-19

A godly marriage requires both partners to release past hurts and embrace God’s new beginning.

3. Time, Attention, and Priorities Will Be Different

Unlike a relationship where both partners have no children, a single parent’s time and attention are divided. Children will naturally come first, and this can be difficult if you are expecting constant closeness. There will be moments where plans change, affection seems distracted, or emotional availability fluctuates due to parenting duties.

This doesn’t mean love is less; it’s just expressed differently. A wise partner understands that nurturing children is an act of love—and joining that process can strengthen your bond.

Psychological Insight:

Jealousy or resentment may arise when one partner feels secondary to the children. This requires emotional maturity and open communication to manage expectations.

Biblical Reference:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3

4. Boundaries With the Ex-Partner

In most cases, a single parent must maintain some level of communication with their child’s other parent. This can be one of the most sensitive aspects of your marriage. The presence of an ex—whether through co-parenting, visitation, or financial arrangements—can bring tension if not handled with godly wisdom.

Establishing clear and respectful boundaries early is key. Discuss what communication with the ex will look like, and pray together for peace and unity. Avoid comparison or competition; instead, focus on building a secure and loving marriage that models Christ-like grace.

Biblical Reference:

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

5. Parenting Roles and Discipline Dynamics

One of the biggest adjustments comes in defining your role in the children’s lives. Discipline, affection, and authority must be handled carefully and agreed upon as a couple. Entering a family as a step-parent requires earning trust before exerting authority.

Rushing to discipline can cause resentment from the children or tension with your spouse. Instead, build relationship first—be present, consistent, and kind. Once love and respect are established, guidance will be more readily received.

Psychological Insight:

Children thrive in stable environments. When they feel secure in your love, they will respond more positively to your leadership. Avoid trying to “replace” the absent parent; focus on being a loving, dependable presence.

Biblical Reference:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

6. The Relationship May Grow Slower — But Deeper

When dating a single parent, the relationship often develops at a slower pace. There are schedules, school runs, and emotional layers to navigate. This slower rhythm can actually be a blessing—it forces you to build on friendship, trust, and spiritual alignment rather than infatuation.

Biblical Reference:

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” – Psalm 127:1

Let God build the foundation of your marriage. When the foundation is spiritual, not just emotional, the relationship can withstand the unique pressures of blended family life.

7. Prayer and Wisdom Are Non-Negotiable

Marrying a single parent requires constant prayer for discernment. You are not just making a marital decision but stepping into a calling of stewardship and spiritual leadership.

Biblical Reference:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach.” – James 1:5

Ask God to give you wisdom to love well, patience to understand, and strength to navigate the complexities that may come. Remember, blended families are not second-best families—they can be powerful testimonies of redemption and grace when rooted in God’s love.

Love may open the door, but wisdom and grace must build the home. Marrying a single parent can be deeply rewarding, but it demands a higher level of emotional and spiritual maturity. Before you say “I do,” seek healing, pray for clarity, and ensure your love is grounded not just in emotion but in God’s divine purpose.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9