What You Avoid Controls You. What You Confront Sets You Free

Avoidance is one of the easiest responses to discomfort. Whether it’s unresolved pain, difficult conversations, emotional wounds, or spiritual responsibilities, many people assume that ignoring the problem will protect their peace. But avoidance never creates freedom—it quietly creates bondage.

Psychological Perspective: The Trap of Avoidance

In psychology, avoidance is known as a maladaptive coping mechanism. When you avoid something that brings fear, anxiety, or shame, your brain temporarily rewards you with relief. But this relief is short-lived. Over time:

Avoided fears grow stronger

Avoided emotions become heavier

Avoided conflicts deepen

Avoided responsibilities become overwhelming

Avoidance reinforces the belief that you can’t handle the situation, making the situation feel more powerful than you. As a result, what you avoid begins to control your thoughts, behaviour, and emotional wellbeing.

Facing issues—whether through honest conversations, therapy, prayer, or intentional action—helps the brain rewire itself. This is why exposure, truth-telling, and emotional processing are central in healing.

Biblical Perspective: Freedom Comes From Truth and Courage

Scripture shows that God calls His people not to run from problems, but to face them with His strength.

Jesus teaches, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

Freedom does not come from hiding truth but confronting it.

David did not avoid Goliath; he faced him. What Israel avoided controlled them through fear, but what David confronted brought victory.

Moses confronted Pharaoh, even before he felt confident. God empowers those who step toward the challenge, not away from it.

The Bible warns that hiding sin or emotional wounds keeps us in darkness, but bringing things to the light leads to healing (1 John 1:7).

Avoidance produces bondage, but confrontation—done with wisdom and the Holy Spirit—brings breakthrough.

Confronting Leads to Freedom

When you confront what has been intimidating you, several things happen:

You reclaim your mental and emotional authority.

You weaken the power of fear.

You heal wounds that once dictated your decisions.

You grow in confidence, faith, and maturity.

You invite God into the area you’ve been hiding.

Confrontation doesn’t mean aggression; it means clarity, honesty, and truthfulness. It is choosing to look at what hurts, seeking support when needed, and allowing God to walk you through it.

What you avoid will eventually control you.

Fear, shame, hurt, or conflict will dominate any area you refuse to address.

But what you confront will set you free.

With God’s strength and psychological courage, you can face anything that has held you in emotional or spiritual captivity.

Freedom begins the moment you decide:

“I will no longer run. I will confront this with God by my side.”

Will & Efe Chaniwa

Co Founders - Come Broken

Rooted in Christ Ministries