Your Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Content Strategy

We live in a generation where almost everything is content.

Engagements are filmed.

Arguments are subtweeted.

Anniversaries are aesthetic.

Apologies are public statements.

Platforms like Instagram, TikTok and YouTube have transformed relationships into consumable moments. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with sharing joy, testimonies, or milestones, we must ask a deeper question:

When did marriage stop being sacred covenant and start becoming strategic content?

This is not just a cultural issue.

It’s a spiritual one.

And it’s a psychological one too.

1. The Cultural Shift: From Sacred to Shareable

In previous generations, marriage was private by default. Today, it is public by design.

We now see:

Viral proposal videos

Public “relationship reveal” countdowns

Divorce announcements filmed in cinematic style

Couples monetising their disagreements

Influencers turning vulnerability into engagement metrics

The algorithm rewards drama.

The audience rewards access.

The culture rewards visibility.

But God rewards faithfulness.

Marriage was never designed to perform for an audience. It was designed to reflect covenant.

The danger is subtle. You don’t wake up intending to commercialise your love. It happens gradually:

You share more than you should.

You seek validation outside instead of resolution inside.

You curate moments instead of cultivating intimacy.

And slowly, the relationship becomes something you manage publicly rather than protect privately.

2. The Psychological Cost of Performative Marriage

Let’s talk about what this does to the human mind.

🔹Performance Pressure

When a couple builds a brand around “perfect marriage,” they unconsciously create pressure to maintain an image. That image becomes more important than authenticity.

Psychologically, this leads to:

Emotional suppression

Fear of vulnerability

Image management instead of problem-solving

Instead of asking, “How do we heal this?” the question becomes, “How do we spin this?”

That is exhausting.

🔹 External Validation Dependency

Every like, comment, and share releases dopamine. The brain begins to associate public affirmation with relationship satisfaction.

But affirmation from strangers cannot replace emotional safety from your spouse.

When validation shifts outward:

Couples begin comparing themselves.

Conflicts escalate when image is threatened.

Partners feel exposed rather than covered.

A marriage that depends on applause will struggle when silence comes.

🔹 Public Venting, Private Damage

Some couples use social media as an emotional outlet:

Subtle digs.

“Funny” complaints.

Passive-aggressive posts.

Oversharing during conflict.

Psychologically, this erodes respect.

Spiritually, it breaks covering.

Relationally, it builds resentment.

What is vented publicly rarely heals privately.

3. Covenant vs. Contract vs. Content

Let’s define terms clearly.

Contract

A contract says:

“If you fail, I can exit.”

Content Strategy

Content says:

“If this no longer performs, I can pivot.”

Covenant

Covenant says:

“Before God, I am committed to love, protect, honour, and persevere.”

Biblically, marriage is covenant. It mirrors Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:25). Christ did not love the Church for engagement metrics. He loved sacrificially, consistently, and privately before publicly.

Covenant is not performative.

It is protective.

Proverbs 25:2 reminds us, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter.”

Not everything sacred is meant to be shared.

There is power in holy privacy.

4. The Trend of Oversharing and the Illusion of Intimacy

Culturally, vulnerability is trending. “Being real” gets views. Emotional transparency gets traction.

But here’s the psychological truth:

Exposure is not the same as intimacy.

You can share deeply online and still feel lonely in your marriage.

Intimacy requires:

Emotional safety

Mutual trust

Sacred confidentiality

Conflict resolution without spectators

When everything is broadcast, intimacy becomes diluted.

The world may know your anniversary date, your love language, your last argument, and your reconciliation story.

But does your spouse feel safe with you?

That question matters more than any comment section.

5. When Ministry and Marriage Intersect

For Christian couples, especially those in leadership or ministry, the tension can be even greater.

Sharing testimonies is powerful.

Encouraging others is necessary.

Teaching from your journey is impactful.

But wisdom must govern exposure.

Before sharing, ask:

Does this honour my spouse?

Have we both agreed to share this?

Are we healed, or still hurting?

Am I seeking glory for God or validation for myself?

Marriage in ministry must be guarded more carefully, not less.

You can inspire others without exposing everything.

6. Protecting What Is Sacred

So what does it look like to live this out?

Establish Sacred Boundaries

Agree together on:

What stays private.

What requires mutual consent before sharing.

What will never be posted.

Boundaries protect intimacy.

Seek Counsel, Not Commentary

When struggling:

Talk to a trusted mentor.

Speak to a pastor.

Consider Christian counselling.

Do not confuse followers with advisors.

Build Off-Camera Intimacy

Prioritise:

Date nights without posting.

Conversations without documenting.

Celebrations without proof.

If no one sees it but God does, it still counts.

7. The Spiritual Dimension: Honour and Covering

Biblically, marriage involves honour.

1 Peter 3:7 speaks of living with understanding and honour. Honour is not just how you treat your spouse privately—it’s how you represent them publicly.

To expose your spouse for sympathy, humour, or engagement is to remove covering.

Love protects.

Love covers.

Love does not exploit weakness.

Your marriage is not a marketing tool. It is a ministry of two souls becoming one flesh.

8. A Hard Question for This Generation

If the platforms disappeared tomorrow…

If there were no likes, no views, no comments…

Would your marriage still feel rich?

Or has public affirmation quietly become part of the glue holding it together?

This generation must learn something countercultural:

Privacy is not secrecy.

It is stewardship.

Silence is not shame.

It is strength.

And covenant is not outdated.

It is eternal.

The world may monetise relationships.

The algorithm may reward drama.

Culture may celebrate transparency without boundaries.

But Scripture calls marriage sacred.

Your marriage was sealed before God, not before followers.

Protect it.

Guard it.

Nurture it away from the spotlight when necessary.

Because a covenant that is carefully protected will outlast a strategy designed to perform.

And when the cameras turn off, what remains should not be an image…

It should be a union.

Will & Efe Chaniwa

Co Founders - Come Broken

Rooted in Christ Ministries