Delay Is Not Denial: The Virtues of Patience and Waiting on God

In a fast-paced world that celebrates instant results, quick wins, and immediate gratification, “waiting” often feels like punishment. Yet in God’s Kingdom, delay is not denial. A delay can be a divine strategy—God’s way of building character, deepening trust, and aligning us with His perfect will. The story of Abraham, Sarah, and Ishmael is one of the clearest biblical illustrations of what happens when impatience takes the wheel, and how costly it can be to move ahead of God.

Let’s explore both the biblical and psychological dimensions of waiting, and why patience is not passive weakness but spiritual strength.

1. The Story of Ishmael: A Warning Against Premature Decisions

God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations (Genesis 12:2–3; 15:4). But the promise took time—years, then decades. Sarah became impatient and pressured Abraham to “help” God by having a child with Hagar (Genesis 16:1–4). Ishmael was born—not as the promised child but as the product of impatience.

This decision birthed:

Household conflict and resentment

Jealousy between Sarah and Hagar

Emotional turmoil for Abraham

Generational consequences

Ishmael was not a curse—God loved him and blessed him. But he was not the child of the covenant. He represented what happens when we create outcomes out of fear, anxiety, or frustration instead of faith.

Lesson:

When we move ahead of God due to impatience, we often create complications we were never meant to carry.

2. Psychologically: Why Waiting Feels Difficult

Patience is not natural. Human psychology is wired for:

Immediate gratification – Our brains release dopamine when we receive quick results.

Control – People feel safer when they believe they are directing outcomes.

Fear of uncertainty – Waiting exposes us to the unknown, which can trigger anxiety.

Comparison anxiety – Seeing others progress can pressure us to “catch up.”

So when God asks us to wait, He is not simply telling us to sit still. He is challenging the emotional, mental, and spiritual impulses that sabotage us.

Impatience often stems from:

Fear that God will not come through.

Doubt in our own worthiness.

Trauma from past disappointments.

Pressure from people around us.

Misalignment between God’s timing and our personal timelines.

This is why patience is a virtue—it requires internal transformation, not external inactivity.

3. Spiritually: What God Accomplishes in Delay

Waiting is not wasted time in God’s economy. It is preparation time.

1. God uses delay to form character

Romans 5:3–4 teaches that tribulation produces perseverance, character, and hope. You cannot microwave character—God develops it slowly.

2. God strengthens your faith

Like Abraham, who “staggered not” at God’s promise (Romans 4:20), waiting grows your spiritual muscles.

3. God aligns circumstances you cannot see

While you wait, God is working behind the scenes—opening doors, closing wrong paths, and orchestrating connections.

4. God protects you from premature blessings

Not every opportunity is safe. Some blessings, if received too early, can destroy us.

5. God distinguishes His will from our desires

Waiting helps us discern between a “good idea” (Ishmael) and a “God idea” (Isaac).

4. The Emotional Impact of Waiting—and How to Handle It

Waiting can create emotional turbulence. Sarah struggled with jealousy, insecurity, and fear. Many people today face the same:

“What if God forgot me?”

“What if this promise will never happen?”

“What if I’m wasting time?”

But God repeatedly tells us:

“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…”

— Isaiah 40:31

Waiting is not passive suffering. It is active trusting.

Healthy psychological practices during seasons of waiting:

1. Reframe the delay – See it as development, not denial.

2. Practice gratitude – Gratitude calms anxiety.

3. Limit comparison – Focus on your lane.

4. Strengthen spiritual disciplines – Prayer, fasting, and Scripture renew focus.

5. Seek wise counsel – God often speaks through people.

6. Release control – Surrender relieves emotional strain.

7. Reflect on past faithfulness – God’s track record builds confidence.

5. When You Birth “Ishmaels” in Life and Marriage

Many people unintentionally reproduce the Ishmael pattern:

In relationships

Settling for someone because you’re tired of waiting for God’s best.

In marriage

Making decisions out of pressure, fear, or comparison instead of unity and prayer.

In finances

Rushing into debt or risky ventures because the promise feels slow.

In ministry or calling

Starting prematurely, without God’s timing or preparation.

But here is hope:

God still blessed Ishmael. Even if you’ve made decisions out of impatience, God can redeem, correct, and restore your path.

6. Isaac Always Comes—In God’s Perfect Time

After years of waiting, God fulfilled His word:

“Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken.”

— Genesis 21:2

The phrase “appointed time” is crucial. God’s timing is not random—it is perfect.

When Isaac arrives:

There is peace.

There is clarity.

There is joy without sorrow (Proverbs 10:22).

There is fulfillment that human striving cannot produce.

Isaac represents the blessing that only God can birth.

Delay is not denial.

Waiting is not punishment.

God’s timing is not late.

The God who kept His promise to Abraham is the same God overseeing your life. He is not intimidated by time, circumstances, or human limitations.

If He said it, He will do it.

If He promised it, He will perform it.

If He started it, He will finish it.

Hold on. Trust Him. Wait well.

Your Isaac is on the way.

Will & Efe Chaniwa

Co Founders - Come Broken

Rooted in Christ Ministries