Why Many Men Turn to Alcohol as an Escape from Marriage and Life Problems

Marriage and family life were designed by God to be a place of peace, companionship, and joy (Genesis 2:18). Yet for many men today, instead of finding refuge at home, they find themselves overwhelmed by pressures, conflicts, and unmet expectations. Sadly, a growing number of men have turned to alcohol as a form of escape from marital struggles and life’s burdens.

The Statistics: Men, Alcohol, and Escapism

Globally, men are far more likely than women to struggle with alcohol abuse. According to the World Health Organization (WHO, 2024), men are three times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than women. In the UK alone, nearly 65% of alcohol-related deaths are men, with middle-aged men being the most affected group.

Studies show that many men cite marital conflict, financial stress, and emotional isolation as key triggers for excessive drinking. In fact, in surveys on substance use, men often admit that the pub or alcohol becomes their “safe place” when home feels like a battlefield rather than a sanctuary.

Why Men Drink Too Much: The Underlying Causes

1. Psychological Escape

Men often struggle to express vulnerability or seek emotional support. Instead of admitting weakness, they may use alcohol as a “numbing agent” to suppress feelings of failure, rejection, or inadequacy. Drinking temporarily silences the inner critic and masks pain—but it never resolves it.

> “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” – Proverbs 20:1

2. Marital Conflict and Emotional Disconnect

When marriages lack healthy communication, intimacy, and respect, some men retreat instead of confronting problems. The pub becomes a refuge where they feel heard, accepted, or at least distracted from ongoing arguments or coldness at home.

3. Social Pressure and Culture

For many men, especially in the UK and Europe, the culture of drinking is ingrained. The pub isn’t just a place to drink—it’s seen as a space of brotherhood and escape. Unfortunately, this “harmless bonding” often leads to dependency.

4. Financial Stress and Identity

Men who feel like they’re failing as providers sometimes turn to alcohol to dull the shame. Proverbs 13:8 reminds us that “The ransom of a man’s life are his riches,” showing how financial burdens weigh heavily on men’s sense of identity.

The Consequences of Escaping Through Alcohol

Family breakdown – Excessive drinking often leads to neglect, anger, and in some cases, abuse.

Spiritual decline – Alcohol dulls not only the mind but also the conscience, pulling men away from God.

Health issues – Liver disease, depression, and early death disproportionately affect men who drink heavily.

Pathways to Resolution

1. Psychological & Emotional Healing

Therapy and Counselling – Men need safe spaces to process emotions. Professional therapy and marriage counselling can help men deal with underlying stressors rather than self-medicating.

Healthy Outlets – Encouraging exercise, hobbies, and support groups can replace the unhealthy escape of alcohol.

2. Practical Steps at Home

Better Communication – Husbands and wives should strive for open, honest, and respectful communication.

Creating Peace at Home – Both partners can work toward making the home a place of rest, not conflict. As Proverbs 17:1 says, “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”

Financial Stewardship – Couples should learn budgeting, teamwork, and contentment to reduce money-related pressures.

3. Christian Foundations

Spiritual Surrender – True freedom from addiction comes when men surrender their pain to Christ. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Accountability in the Church – Men’s groups and Christian brotherhood can offer godly accountability instead of pub culture.

Replacing the Cup – Instead of being filled with alcohol, Paul exhorts in Ephesians 5:18: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.”

Alcohol may offer men temporary escape from marital and life pressures, but it only deepens wounds in the long run. What men truly need is healing, understanding, and transformation—psychologically, practically, and spiritually.

When marriages are built on love, respect, and faith, the pub is no longer the refuge—home becomes the sanctuary. And when Christ is the centre, even the deepest burdens can be carried with hope.

> “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

At Come Broken, we believe no man is beyond hope. The same God who “is close to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18) is able to bring freedom, restoration, and peace to every marriage and every man.

If you or your partner needs help, guidance or counselling, email us on willandefe@comebroken.co.uk