Why People Get Jealous of a United Married Couple — And Why Some Want the Marriage to Fail

A united, peaceful, and purpose-driven marriage is one of the most powerful forces on earth. It is no surprise, then, that such marriages often attract jealousy, hostility, and even deliberate attacks. When two people are genuinely united—emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—it exposes the fractures, insecurities, and unresolved wounds in others.

This article explores why jealousy arises, why some people actively want strong marriages to fail, the extreme lengths they may go to, the behaviours that reveal hostile intent, and how couples can biblically and practically guard their marriage.

1. Why United Marriages Trigger Jealousy

a) A United Marriage Is a Mirror

Psychologically, people often react negatively not to what they see—but to what it reveals about themselves.

A strong marriage highlights:

Their loneliness

Their broken relationships

Their failed marriages

Their lack of emotional maturity

Their unresolved trauma

Instead of healing, some people choose envy and resentment.

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” — Proverbs 14:30

b) Unity Threatens Dysfunction

Many people come from cultures or families where:

Conflict is normalised

Divorce is expected

Betrayal is common

Emotional chaos is familiar

A healthy marriage disrupts that narrative. It proves that:

Faithfulness is possible

Peace is attainable

Commitment can endure

This threatens those who rely on chaos to feel normal.

c) Spiritual Warfare Against Covenant

Biblically, marriage is not just a relationship—it is a covenant.

“What God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Mark 10:9

Unity attracts spiritual opposition because:

Marriage reflects Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5)

Strong families build strong societies

Godly marriages raise healed generations

The enemy attacks what carries legacy and destiny.

2. Why Some People Want the Marriage to Fail

a) Misery Loves Company

Psychologically wounded people sometimes feel validated when others fail the way they did.

A successful marriage challenges:

Their belief that “love never lasts”

Their justification for bitterness

Their excuses for emotional dysfunction

So they attempt to pull others down to avoid personal accountability.

b) Control and Possessiveness

Some individuals—especially toxic relatives or narcissistic personalities—see a united marriage as a loss of control.

They may feel:

Replaced

Exposed

Threatened

Powerless

So they attempt to:

Divide loyalty

Create conflict

Undermine trust

“Where there is strife, there is pride.” — Proverbs 13:10

c) Cultural Resistance to Covenant

In some cultures:

Marriage is politicised

Loyalty is demanded by extended family

Boundaries are viewed as rebellion

A couple that prioritises their union challenges unhealthy cultural expectations and may face backlash disguised as “concern,” “tradition,” or “family duty.”

3. Extreme Lengths People Go to Destroy Good Marriages

When jealousy festers, some individuals go far beyond gossip.

Common Extreme Behaviours Include:

Spreading lies or half-truths

Fabricating allegations

Involving authorities or courts maliciously

Contacting employers to sabotage careers

Emotional manipulation and gaslighting

Triangulating family members

Stalking, monitoring, or harassment

Encouraging infidelity or mistrust

Pretending to “help” while sowing division

“The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.” — John 10:10

These actions are rarely about concern—they are about envy, control, and unresolved bitterness.

4. Key Behaviours That Reveal People Who Want to Destroy Your Marriage

1. They Constantly Criticise Your Spouse

Subtle insults

“Concerned” warnings

Comparing your spouse to others

“Whoever sows discord among brothers is detestable to the Lord.” — Proverbs 6:19

2. They Try to Isolate One Partner

Encouraging secrecy

Creating “us vs them” narratives

Demanding loyalty over the marriage

3. They Celebrate Conflict

Enjoy disagreements

Amplify small issues

Take sides instead of promoting peace

4. They Disrespect Boundaries

Ignore privacy

Interfere in decisions

Feel entitled to influence your marriage

5. They Undermine Unity Spiritually or Emotionally

Mock faith

Discourage prayer

Dismiss counselling or growth

Encourage bitterness instead of healing

5. How to Guard and Protect Your Marriage

a) Prioritise Covenant Over Opinions

Your marriage answers to God—not public opinion, family pressure, or cultural norms.

“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12

b) Maintain Radical Unity

No private complaints about your spouse to outsiders

Address issues internally or with wise counsel

Present a united front always

Unity is protection.

c) Establish Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are not rebellion—they are biblical wisdom.

“Above all else, guard your heart.” — Proverbs 4:23

d) Pray Together Consistently

Prayer disarms manipulation, confusion, and spiritual attack. A praying couple is difficult to divide.

e) Discern Access, Not Everyone Gets a Voice

Not everyone who is close is safe. Not everyone who smiles is for you.

“Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” — Matthew 10:16

f) Heal Individually to Strengthen Collectively

Unhealed trauma makes marriages vulnerable. Healing strengthens discernment and resilience.

6. A United Marriage Is a Threat to Darkness

A strong marriage:

Breaks generational curses

Models healthy love

Raises secure children

Builds legacy

Glorifies God

That is why it is targeted.

But remember:

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” — Isaiah 54:17

People may try. Enemies may plot. Jealousy may rage.

But what God has established in covenant, no human agenda can destroy—unless you allow division inside.

Guard your unity. Protect your covenant. Walk in wisdom. Stand together.

Because a united marriage doesn’t just survive—it shines.

Will & Efe Chaniwa

Co Founders - Come Broken

Rooted in Christ Ministries